Pearls from the Path

Pearls from the Path is my effort to seek and share the beauty that Islam offers. Everything I post here is a reflection of who I am and what I find inspiring in my aspiration to finally achieve a peaceful state amid the clutter of this world. I hope you find it of value, and I pray that you’ll enjoy this journey with me, insha Allah.
"Whether you conceal what is in your hearts or bring it into the open, God knows it: for He knows all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth; and God has the power to will anything."
Sūrat ali-Imrān, verse 29
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
"Guard the obligatory prayer. Whoever is careless regarding their prayers will be careless in everything else."
Umar ibn al-Khattāb
Saturday, 5 April 2014
Do you have any advice for someone considering suicide? I've made way too many mistakes in life. I'm not a good person, neither am I religious. But deep down, even I fear Hell. Praying hasn't really ever helped. I believe in Allah, I just don't trust Him anymore. All I want is to not exist. Why must I be trapped in this forced existence?

My advice? Don’t. There’s no other side to the coin, suicide is never the answer. I’m not going to pretend that I’ve ever been through anything you lived that led you into thinking that your existence was worthless. However I do understand how tempting it is to forget about our own existence when anything that stems from it screams misery. But was it ever going to be easy for anyone, anon? 

You know, we were all born alone. All of us. There is an ingrained element of loneliness in the depths of our beings that we’ll never be able to get rid of completely. If you think about it, you came here alone, your experiences and circumstances are your own, the way they shape your thoughts and beliefs is known to you only, and one day, you’ll leave alone. In front of God too you’ll be alone. There could be a billion individuals going through similar experiences and yet it wouldn’t make them relatable to you because deep inside you are aware of your uniqueness as a human being.

Loneliness is an aching void in your heart that nothing but the remembrance and love of God can fill. You said that praying hasn’t helped, but know that there are countless different ways of praying that you only can determine. If you struggle to remember God when you’re on your prayer mat, then think of what makes you reflect the most. Sometimes we reach our deepest state of remembrance when heartache strikes and tears are flowing because of the brutal realisation that comes with powerlessness. 

More importantly, remember that religion isn’t here to burden you about sins and Hell. Nowhere is it written in the Qur’an that your mistakes define you as a human being or a believer. In fact there is even a hadith that says that « If you did not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Him. » (Muslim) So what actually defines you is how you handle those weaknesses, and how you react to them. 

It’s quite remarkable to me how your ingrained sense of goodness and sincerity (masha Allah) is what led you into believing that the absence of goodness and submission to God in an individual is what makes his existence devoid of purpose. So, again, what defines you is how you decide to use that very sense of goodness that lies in your heart to strive in God’s way. What you’re feeling isn’t unnatural— it isn’t harām either; but to put your trust in God means to reform those feelings. Your inner sense of justice and sincerity should be the fuel to your religiosity and well-being; you shouldn’t use those strengths to feel miserable about yourself and your capacities. 

It’s not an easy task; in fact no one has it easy. But you can do great things, and I believe in you, and I’m sure everyone who read your message also believe in you. You actually gave yourself a chance by sharing your story and doubts; if that doesn’t show that you still have confidence in what you can do, then I don’t know what it is! :-)

My advice is that you should seek professional help as soon as possible. Your story needs to be heard and you deserve to be taken care of. If you want to chat off-anon, I’ll gladly listen. If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate ask. And don’t forget: God tests those He loves the most.

I will pray for you.
Wa salaam :-)
Thursday, 3 April 2014
"When the forgetful man gets up in the morning, he reflects on what he is going to do, whereas the intelligent man sees what God is doing with him."
Ibn ´Atā Allāh
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
"You get tested according to the degree of your faith."
Yahyā Rhodus
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
"When He made people praise you for what you do not deserve, praise Him for what He deserves"
Ibn ´Atā Allāh
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